avoid unlinking actively listening sockets

While we've always unlinked dead sockets from nuked/leftover
processes, blindly unlinking them can cause unnecessary failures
when an active process is already listening on them.  We now
make a simple connect(2) check to ensure the socket is not in
use before unlinking it.

Thanks to Jordan Ritter for the detailed bug report leading to
this fix.

ref: http://mid.gmane.org/8D95A44B-A098-43BE-B532-7D74BD957F31@darkridge.com

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